Last night, thankfully my counselors brought me over to see Clayfoot at Emmanuel church last night. I got there early and was greeted by a very nice woman who offered me books. I grabbed the book, Stop Being The Victim.. something like that. It talked about addictions and addictive personalities, and abuse amongst spiritual warfare. A kind woman brought me back to the prayer room and we talked.
I got back to my table and the music was playing. The songs by Clayfoot spoke to my heart and the music over poured like a choir of angels and being present in that.
Thankfully, two friends I knew were there and took me under their wing.
It's been a hell of a ride and surely a painful one.
Today at church we talked about consequences- but that the final answer isn't failure.
Then a kind girl at church took me under her wing and we talked about how God has changed her life.
Then when I got to the laundry mat, a kind person held the door open for me.
I'm scared to trust because my brain doesn't function with uncertainty. My heart is confused and my spirit is shaken.