By: Brittany Eldridge
A life of childhood abuse
There was absolutely no excuse
She hides under the covers in fear for her life
As glasses were thrown across the room and smashed, as pieces shatter to the ground
A scared young girl that goes to school silent, a broken home full of strife
Sitting on the porch on a visitation with dad, crying to go home, worrying my mom was going to be killed
My little heart, with worry they filled
Struggled with self image, starved myself to bones and doctors care
Trying to maintain my academics, trying to be good enough for mom but inside I was bare
Desperate for love, led to hands that preyed
Falling deeper into Hell, "Please God, take me", I prayed
I began writing the words down from my soul, taking back my voice trying to resist the demons
Thought that I'd set an example of how I didn't succumb to the pain of my soul
Reaching one hand out for safety as I'm fighting the weight wrapped around my ankle trying to pull me under
Losing hope as the exhaustion settles in, crying as it begans to thunder
Forgiveness is releasing the poison from your own soul
But realizing the strength you have to meddle to rewire your entire self from where you're bleeding out from the hole
Constant emptiness, confusion, anxiety, depression, feeling numb to what would bring joy
Realizing the support around you are the ones that brought you the greatest pain
Trying to swim to safety, with all that's left of you
To catch a breath from all the madness, to relax the increased cortisol, a moment to connect with the earth
A safe place where I can be myself, where it's safe to come out
"I'm here world, it's Brittany!", I shout.
Narrated: https://youtu.be/hgm3-Z_qiw4
